A Magic Called “Gratitude”

Gratitude is a gesture to acknowledge the favor done to us by anyone in life. The gesture can be - bowing your head in simple manner, or passing on smile or a word of praise for the other person, or just by saying thank you. Thank You is the most common gesture which comes on top, in the list to acknowledge the favors. Hence we will take - "Thank You" as word of gratitude in our discussion to understand the magic of gratitude.

We say “Thank You” when we get a favor from anyone.  “Thank You” is the most common gesture to show our gratitude and most of the time these two words go almost unnoticed or get a reply as ‘Most Welcome’ or ‘Mention Not’. 

“Thank You” is a phrase which is used worldwide to acknowledge the favor & most of the time it just comes out so very quick that we forget to rap it with feelings.

If we can use “Thank You” with feelings it can really change our world.

 Imagine a friend who has taken some favors from you and in return he says “Thank You”, it will not make much of a difference to you, and probably you will forget the matter. But in case the same friend who has taken some favors from you & forgets to say “Thank You”, you will get some strange feeling. It is the first notice point, and a reason of discussion.

At times simple gestures like using Thank You & Sorry at the right time makes life beautiful even beyond our imagination. Mostly a decent person will never forget to say thanks to a person for his favor. But at the same time there is a strange fact also, that people forget to say thanks to the most loved ones. They take the loved ones for granted. Why so???

Here I would love to sight few examples where we will find that a simple use of Thank You would have created magic.

Ø  A house wife does countless jobs at home & hardly gets enough credit for her work, as it is considered to be her duty. The family takes her for granted.

Ø  A sole earning male gets hardly any recognition from the family for his contribution, and most of the time he is taken for granted. As it’s considered that he is not doing anything special, though in today’s world earning decent is also a challenge, ask any working class or a small business owner.

Ø  In some cases children don't value their parents or find it difficult to adjust, some of them even dare to ask “what have you done for us?”

Ø  Business partners find it difficult to continue because with time their excitement of being together starts fading.

Ø  Neighbors are not very friendly is most of the cases. Try to recall when you said Thank You to your own neighbor.

Ø  Customer retention is a major problem in service sector.  Even regular customer also doesn't get his due regard and one day flies away.

Ø  Employee – Employer relationships is a classical case of lack of gratitude. Even the biggest business houses are facing tough times to hold on the talent.

Let’s try to understand the basic reason for all such cases; the root cause is lack of gratitude in most of the cases. Just think that a simple gesture of saying “Thank You” could have made a big difference. The biggest human motivator is “Praise” a word of appreciation can make a person happy & proud. A word of appreciation in genuine words can create magic in someone’s life. Try this mantra & find out.

We can take our own example that when somebody gives recognition to our efforts, how we feel, in similar manner we can reciprocate to take the advantage of this age old mantra.

“Praise people and win hearts.” Praise is also a part of gratitude. Praise should be real, not superficial. As to praise genuinely one has to value the effort of the other person. Once we give due importance to the work done, we find it easy to pay gratitude.

Ø  Just imagine if a house wife gets recognition for her work, and a Sunday is given to her making her the Queen of the house, who can order & can get the simple household work done from husband & kids. She will never forget this special Sunday. Try & let me know.

Ø  A sole earning member can be treated as the lord of the family and a Thank You card can be handmade & presented to him with adorable words for his efforts to run the family. He already suffers a rude world while dealing with irritated clients, pending sales orders, pending collections for the office, a scold from the boss etc. All he needs is love & respect from the family. Let me know you take on this.

Ø  At time I see children asking their parents “what have you done for us”, I believe it’s the most stupid question if you understand the simple biology. Without parents, our existence could have been a fiction only. Respect parents, give them respect, in most of the cases parents need love, care & affection rather then financial support.

Ø  Maximum business partnerships fail due to either loss of respect for each other or  they don't pay enough gratitude to each other's genuine efforts. Having a partner can be a boon also, if both understand each other’s feelings & can say “Thank You” more often.

Ø  Invite a neighbor for a cup of tea & say Thank You for being nice to your children; or for any favor he did to you in last few weeks & you forgot to thank him, he will be nicer from next day.

Ø  We provide service to a client; the client enjoys our services but still leaves us! Why? A client expects something more than the mere service.  A magic called smile to greet the client since the time he / she enters the business premise can actually make him/ her happy. Retention of a happy customer is always easy.

Ø  If the organization can fix up a plan to encourage the employee for a small effort also, it can boost the morale of the employee, & a happy employee can be much more productive. Productivity will always attract more incentive. An effective system for employee appraisal is the key to retain talent. In the similar manner it’s a duty to praise every positive effort of the employer. 

The key is to maintain mutual respect & pay gratitude.

With these easy to follow mantras, I sign off today…Keep reading…Keep sharing…

Stay Blessed…Stay Happy!!!

Yours

Sanjay Singh

  

Happiness Decoded: Immediate Gratification Vs Gratitude

Question:     Are you happy with your life?

Most common answer to this question would be,

Who is happy in this life?

Or

Why are you joking man

Or

I can be happy once my dreams come true. (Like owning my own business, or getting promoted or inheriting property or marrying my dream partner)

Or

I can be happy if relationship with wife/ husband/ Children/ parents/ boss/ co-workers improves.

Why people are not happy???

Why I mean why these kind of answers are so very common. Be it a 15 year old kid or a house wife or a working lady or a service class man or even a businessman.

Immediate gratification is demanding rewards within the short time, its living for a day kind of mind set. Life can give actual rewards but the with the hard work & time.

Answer is within us only, now a days people have become crazy for materialistic possessions & there is a race to acquire more & more. On one side people say that they are not happy & on the other side they want to buy new clothes, LCDs, music systems, smart phones, I pads, & cars etc. Actually this rat race is not letting their mind to stay peaceful & a constant chase remain in the mind to acquire more. Every one of us is bombarded with loads of information from electronic media like internet & info commercial television shows. Anyone who is having access to internet or TV is in the target audience for such commercial advertisements.

Family members like kids & house wives get the maximum access for info commercial TV channels & they relate their standard of life can only be measured by the latest smart phone, latest dress, LCDs etc. They don’t think that they are being used as puppets by the big business houses.

Here I am not saying that the entire blame is on the TV channels or internet, actual the culprit is reduced communication in the family members, as long working hours have created a big gap in communication in relationships.

I still remember that my father used to come back from his office and used to sit with entire family over the cup of tea & homemade snacks, those simple happy moments are absent from our life style now. I hope everyone who is in the range of 35-40 years of age will agree with me.

Deteriorating communication in the family is the worst thing which is taking its toll to the family set up, forget joint family system even a nuclear family unit is not able to maintain the healthy environment. The reason is the increasing cost of living clubbed and immediate gratification which has changed the focus from emotions to materialistic possessions.

The problem is more in the family where a single earning member is there & rest of the members are influenced by show off culture.

Once immediate gratification becomes a habit, no one can be happy, take an example of a student, a simple fresh graduate is not ready to take up a job which is paying lesser than his/ her expectations, while in an era where jobs are rare thing, refusing an opportunity is not advisable. The fresh graduates have to understand that everyone can’t get a Blue Chip company to start with.

Take an example of a house wife who is free. TV & internet are her best friends, she will be exposed to latest fashion/make-up/smart phones/kitchen appliances etc. Now the gimmick of advertisement is such that she feels that without all the new shopping her self esteem is on the stake, what will happen if her friend buys something & she doesn't?

Take an example of an Executive who has just got a job in a Blue Chip company and making excellent money; he is also not happy, what??? Yes you would be asking this why he is not happy, just try to see what’s happening in metro towns, pub culture is on rise, young working class is spending money on the bigger than life brands, I am not saying spending money is wrong, but spending without planning is a cause of worry, and use of credit card for show off is one of the common mistakes.

Mid career blue is now a common thing in India, when you walk in any of the private office you find young faces greeting you, don’t you get scared that where have the middle age people gone. Jobs are becoming tight rope walk, and sustaining the pressure in the job is the biggest cause of blood pressure & heart ailments. You also must have heard that a young man in your circle has suffered from heart attack/ blood pressure/diabetes, have you??? All these are life style related diseases & decades ago, were associated with old age only, but now age doesn't matter.

Question is how to be happy:

Let’s live life as it comes, and pay gratitude to the GOD for the gift called life to us as human being, only human beings are given the power of verbal communication. It’s a divine gift; good communication can change the entire life.

Living life filled with gratitude is the key to happiness, being happy about your own self is the first step towards the success. Accepting the life as a plan of GOD is the best way to pay gratitude to GOD.

Take the focus from WANTs to NEEDs, once your focus is on needs the financial crisis will start coming to an end, and you will realize the harmony will start flowing in life. Relationships will start improving.

Dreams should inspire you to work harder & achieve rather than immediate fulfillment of desires. Once you work with full energy towards your dreams, you will achieve happiness in pursuit.

The GOD has been kind that we were born in this era of great development, where fiction is almost turning into reality, so let’s use our energy to achieve something worthy, and being happy for our today should be our first priority. Only a happy person can ask for more happiness as he/she must be content with today. A heart filled with gratitude is the magnet for happiness. Use this power to create a happy life.

Initially we may have to practice happiness, but eventually if we are determined to be happy, we will start finding happiness in small things like, sun rise, a simple walk in the park, playing with our pet dog, tea with an old friend or just relaxing with the family in the drawing room or playing carrom.

Once we start valuing small things, small happiness, life will start transforming, the relations will start becoming cordial & magical.

Let’s be determined to lead a happy life, bring gratitude in life & see the miracle happening. Start communicating with family more often, it will bring harmony.

Forgive & Forget is another magical mantra for guaranteed happiness in life. 

In coming days we will be discussing on this also, till than stay happy, stay blessed.

Current Education Vs Job Market

Life in current decade has gone far ahead than human mind could have conceived, by now we have created amazing machines, something called fiction two decades ago is a reality today, courtesy science.

Now let us understand that why happiness is so uncommon now a days, don’t you feel that somewhere the race to be ahead of others is taking toll on our life, the direct impact is on health, emotions & finances. The way the cut of percentages are rising up to 100% in top colleges of India, it seems that this is the only thing a kid is born for. While the Education is a business for rich, middle class is facing the burnt of the business called Education. Higher the image of the educational institutes higher the monthly bill.

Survey says that maximum of MBA & Engineering graduates are not even employable and as a career counselor I found the truth is that they were not taught with intention to help them, but to finish off with semester. Otherwise today’s youth is far more informed & aware.

Worst hit are the fresh pass out MBAs & Engineers. They are weak in academics & weaker in practical knowledge. Their aspiration doesn't match with the job offers in the real market. They feel that they are overqualified for certain jobs. Now as a society we need to see how we can bring the change in this entire scenario. The educationists have to think long term & employ quality faculty, which is not only knowledgeable but also motivated enough to transfer the energy in to the next generation.

I agree that the Education is the right for everyone. But every child can’t be a genius to become an Engineer or a Doctor. Education is considered as the source of earning in all the middle class families. 

Unfortunately academics have been considered as the easiest source of making money forgetting that the kid is inclined towards studies or not.

On the contrary young India is doing pretty well in other fields like sports & entertainment. Reality TV has given many hopes. The need of the hour is that push a child in the direction which is loved by him/her, only self interest can ignite the fire in the child to overcome all difficulties to achieve the pinnacle in life. 

   

Few suggestions for the parents:-

•  Parental ambitions should not be the determining factor for the child’s choice of course or career.
•  Know your child. As lack of communication is the first disconnect in the modern families.
• See your child’s overall education history before you counsel him/her for career choice.
• Keep a check on the mood swings; these can be the early signs for his/ her stress level.
• Give proper listening to the child’s choice for his/her career.

Few suggestions for the students:-

• Awareness is the mantra. Know yourself well, means know your interest areas clearly.
• Take help of a career counselor to give a fair assessment for the choices available for you.
• Time is money, learns that it’s your life, you can’t succeed without hard work, sounds bookish, but true.
• Don’t fight with the present situation in life, wherever you are, strive hard from mere better to the best.
•  Parents are the real physical God in life, respect them, your existence is proof that they have created you.
• A vocational course with the proper guidance can be more fruitful to fetch a decent job, skilled people are always in demand.

The top 10% students will never face the problem in job market; they will always remain the shout after diamonds everywhere. As their mere presence at the top says loudly that they are carrying positive attitude & loved the assignment of studying well.

Rest of the job seekers have to fight back, and prove that they are worthy enough to be hired, this is only possible with “Attitude Quotient” which is a combination of Intelligence Quotient, Emotional Quotient & Social Quotient.

I would like to conclude that the market may look down but still the aspiring job seekers, who are polishing themselves with positive attitude, are still in demand & can get a decent start in career and from there, they can actually march forward.

Keep in touch. Stay Blessed. Stay Happy.