Happiness Decoded: Immediate Gratification Vs Gratitude

Question:     Are you happy with your life?

Most common answer to this question would be,

Who is happy in this life?

Or

Why are you joking man

Or

I can be happy once my dreams come true. (Like owning my own business, or getting promoted or inheriting property or marrying my dream partner)

Or

I can be happy if relationship with wife/ husband/ Children/ parents/ boss/ co-workers improves.

Why people are not happy???

Why I mean why these kind of answers are so very common. Be it a 15 year old kid or a house wife or a working lady or a service class man or even a businessman.

Immediate gratification is demanding rewards within the short time, its living for a day kind of mind set. Life can give actual rewards but the with the hard work & time.

Answer is within us only, now a days people have become crazy for materialistic possessions & there is a race to acquire more & more. On one side people say that they are not happy & on the other side they want to buy new clothes, LCDs, music systems, smart phones, I pads, & cars etc. Actually this rat race is not letting their mind to stay peaceful & a constant chase remain in the mind to acquire more. Every one of us is bombarded with loads of information from electronic media like internet & info commercial television shows. Anyone who is having access to internet or TV is in the target audience for such commercial advertisements.

Family members like kids & house wives get the maximum access for info commercial TV channels & they relate their standard of life can only be measured by the latest smart phone, latest dress, LCDs etc. They don’t think that they are being used as puppets by the big business houses.

Here I am not saying that the entire blame is on the TV channels or internet, actual the culprit is reduced communication in the family members, as long working hours have created a big gap in communication in relationships.

I still remember that my father used to come back from his office and used to sit with entire family over the cup of tea & homemade snacks, those simple happy moments are absent from our life style now. I hope everyone who is in the range of 35-40 years of age will agree with me.

Deteriorating communication in the family is the worst thing which is taking its toll to the family set up, forget joint family system even a nuclear family unit is not able to maintain the healthy environment. The reason is the increasing cost of living clubbed and immediate gratification which has changed the focus from emotions to materialistic possessions.

The problem is more in the family where a single earning member is there & rest of the members are influenced by show off culture.

Once immediate gratification becomes a habit, no one can be happy, take an example of a student, a simple fresh graduate is not ready to take up a job which is paying lesser than his/ her expectations, while in an era where jobs are rare thing, refusing an opportunity is not advisable. The fresh graduates have to understand that everyone can’t get a Blue Chip company to start with.

Take an example of a house wife who is free. TV & internet are her best friends, she will be exposed to latest fashion/make-up/smart phones/kitchen appliances etc. Now the gimmick of advertisement is such that she feels that without all the new shopping her self esteem is on the stake, what will happen if her friend buys something & she doesn't?

Take an example of an Executive who has just got a job in a Blue Chip company and making excellent money; he is also not happy, what??? Yes you would be asking this why he is not happy, just try to see what’s happening in metro towns, pub culture is on rise, young working class is spending money on the bigger than life brands, I am not saying spending money is wrong, but spending without planning is a cause of worry, and use of credit card for show off is one of the common mistakes.

Mid career blue is now a common thing in India, when you walk in any of the private office you find young faces greeting you, don’t you get scared that where have the middle age people gone. Jobs are becoming tight rope walk, and sustaining the pressure in the job is the biggest cause of blood pressure & heart ailments. You also must have heard that a young man in your circle has suffered from heart attack/ blood pressure/diabetes, have you??? All these are life style related diseases & decades ago, were associated with old age only, but now age doesn't matter.

Question is how to be happy:

Let’s live life as it comes, and pay gratitude to the GOD for the gift called life to us as human being, only human beings are given the power of verbal communication. It’s a divine gift; good communication can change the entire life.

Living life filled with gratitude is the key to happiness, being happy about your own self is the first step towards the success. Accepting the life as a plan of GOD is the best way to pay gratitude to GOD.

Take the focus from WANTs to NEEDs, once your focus is on needs the financial crisis will start coming to an end, and you will realize the harmony will start flowing in life. Relationships will start improving.

Dreams should inspire you to work harder & achieve rather than immediate fulfillment of desires. Once you work with full energy towards your dreams, you will achieve happiness in pursuit.

The GOD has been kind that we were born in this era of great development, where fiction is almost turning into reality, so let’s use our energy to achieve something worthy, and being happy for our today should be our first priority. Only a happy person can ask for more happiness as he/she must be content with today. A heart filled with gratitude is the magnet for happiness. Use this power to create a happy life.

Initially we may have to practice happiness, but eventually if we are determined to be happy, we will start finding happiness in small things like, sun rise, a simple walk in the park, playing with our pet dog, tea with an old friend or just relaxing with the family in the drawing room or playing carrom.

Once we start valuing small things, small happiness, life will start transforming, the relations will start becoming cordial & magical.

Let’s be determined to lead a happy life, bring gratitude in life & see the miracle happening. Start communicating with family more often, it will bring harmony.

Forgive & Forget is another magical mantra for guaranteed happiness in life. 

In coming days we will be discussing on this also, till than stay happy, stay blessed.

Current Education Vs Job Market

Life in current decade has gone far ahead than human mind could have conceived, by now we have created amazing machines, something called fiction two decades ago is a reality today, courtesy science.

Now let us understand that why happiness is so uncommon now a days, don’t you feel that somewhere the race to be ahead of others is taking toll on our life, the direct impact is on health, emotions & finances. The way the cut of percentages are rising up to 100% in top colleges of India, it seems that this is the only thing a kid is born for. While the Education is a business for rich, middle class is facing the burnt of the business called Education. Higher the image of the educational institutes higher the monthly bill.

Survey says that maximum of MBA & Engineering graduates are not even employable and as a career counselor I found the truth is that they were not taught with intention to help them, but to finish off with semester. Otherwise today’s youth is far more informed & aware.

Worst hit are the fresh pass out MBAs & Engineers. They are weak in academics & weaker in practical knowledge. Their aspiration doesn't match with the job offers in the real market. They feel that they are overqualified for certain jobs. Now as a society we need to see how we can bring the change in this entire scenario. The educationists have to think long term & employ quality faculty, which is not only knowledgeable but also motivated enough to transfer the energy in to the next generation.

I agree that the Education is the right for everyone. But every child can’t be a genius to become an Engineer or a Doctor. Education is considered as the source of earning in all the middle class families. 

Unfortunately academics have been considered as the easiest source of making money forgetting that the kid is inclined towards studies or not.

On the contrary young India is doing pretty well in other fields like sports & entertainment. Reality TV has given many hopes. The need of the hour is that push a child in the direction which is loved by him/her, only self interest can ignite the fire in the child to overcome all difficulties to achieve the pinnacle in life. 

   

Few suggestions for the parents:-

•  Parental ambitions should not be the determining factor for the child’s choice of course or career.
•  Know your child. As lack of communication is the first disconnect in the modern families.
• See your child’s overall education history before you counsel him/her for career choice.
• Keep a check on the mood swings; these can be the early signs for his/ her stress level.
• Give proper listening to the child’s choice for his/her career.

Few suggestions for the students:-

• Awareness is the mantra. Know yourself well, means know your interest areas clearly.
• Take help of a career counselor to give a fair assessment for the choices available for you.
• Time is money, learns that it’s your life, you can’t succeed without hard work, sounds bookish, but true.
• Don’t fight with the present situation in life, wherever you are, strive hard from mere better to the best.
•  Parents are the real physical God in life, respect them, your existence is proof that they have created you.
• A vocational course with the proper guidance can be more fruitful to fetch a decent job, skilled people are always in demand.

The top 10% students will never face the problem in job market; they will always remain the shout after diamonds everywhere. As their mere presence at the top says loudly that they are carrying positive attitude & loved the assignment of studying well.

Rest of the job seekers have to fight back, and prove that they are worthy enough to be hired, this is only possible with “Attitude Quotient” which is a combination of Intelligence Quotient, Emotional Quotient & Social Quotient.

I would like to conclude that the market may look down but still the aspiring job seekers, who are polishing themselves with positive attitude, are still in demand & can get a decent start in career and from there, they can actually march forward.

Keep in touch. Stay Blessed. Stay Happy.